5 Tips for Coping with Cancer during the Holiday Season
Whether you are living with cancer, in survivorship, supporting someone with cancer, or grieving - chances are Cancer will take a seat at your holiday table.
Holidays bring relatives and friends together. People who may not have been there during the difficult times and those who were or are. For those on active treatment, intimate gatherings may feel threatening from an infection risk perspective, but extended family may not understand your boundaries. You may not feel much like celebrating, or perhaps you are banking on the holidays to give you a much needed boost. Either way, here are some tips to get you through the season.
1. Set and hold boundaries
Feeling anxious about having to “bring everyone up to speed” on your treatment? Engage in some mental preparation to determine how to tackle your worries this holiday season. This may involve being explicit about your boundaries around communication “I don’t feel like talking about my treatment tonight”. Being transparent about your needs and boundaries helps avoid confusion or frustration.
2. Enlist your people.
Are you worried about a family members tendency to overshare, push home remedies or ask invasive questions? Enlist a partner, cousin, sibling, child or parent to help run interference for you. As a caregiver, you may be able to help your loved one in this area, or may need someone to do the same for you.
3. Manage your own expectations
This Christmas or holiday may not be the same for a number of reasons. Practice self compassion around your own engagement with the holiday and know that however it feels for you is in fact, OK. Don’t put pressure on yourself to have “the best Christmas ever”. Notice and hold on to the happy moments to help buoy you through the challenges. Be prepared and accepting of all emotions as a part of your holiday experience this year.
4. Anticipate Food Aversions
If appetite, food aversions or restrictions are a concern, plan ahead by advising the host or coming prepared with something that is palatable to you. Make sure you are prepared with any medication support needed for nausea or GI symptoms. Acknowledge your disappointment if your holiday favourites aren’t accessible to you this year.
5. Engage in Energy Conservation
If energy is poor, you may have to be selective about your participation this year. Perhaps you can handle an afternoon get together but know you are too tired by the evening. Set yourself up for success by considering what you can and can’t handle and saying no when you need to. There may be traditions that feel important to you, like making cookies with your children or grandchildren. Conserve energy elsewhere in order to be able to focus on what feels most important.
While your holiday season may be complicated this year, we hope you are able to find moments of comfort and joy.
Katie Rice MSW RSW
